My Name Is Bimbo

‘Ms Bimbo, I notice you giggle and fidget each time during the near-fifteen minutes we have been engaging, struggling to give suitable responses (if at all) to questions asked you…I’m not sure we should keep at this pace. Interview deferred.’

These were my words at the point I had to terminate this particular interview to save my time and also move on with other candidates who direly needed an interview opportunity.

I often sit on interview panels trying to assess the suitability of prospective hires in various capacities. Regrettably I find this function extremely draining, dismal and often annoying. You will appreciate why.

I come across several young graduates who are desperately looking for employment in the corporate environment. These dreams, get curtailed somewhat because candidates are just not impressive. I have reviewed over a 1000 CVs which look quite remarkable, however it has often turned out, the ink and paper are all there are to the authors of those testimonials.

Bimbo earns an interview opportunity. 9.00am was her appointment on Friday March 30, 2012. She shows up rather enthusiastically and on time. Here she is:

She magnificently emerges from a self-chauffeured sleek, charcoal-grey 2012 registered Range Rover Evoque. I happened to be at the staff car park and wondered to myself who this lady could be. I immediately assumed she was a client, but never imagined her as a job-seeker.

Tall, stylish, slender and elegant. Strikingly gorgeous, dark-skinned 16-inch fake-haired woman, occasionally appearing shy, beautifully dressed up in seemingly expensive clothes, shoes and accessories. Her fragrance filled the foyer getting staff nosing surreptitiously to find out who was here and what they were up to.

I get into my office, a telephone call follows: Front office person: ‘madam, the interview candidates are in; can the first person come?’ “Sure…” I related.

The same lady I had seen at the car park is the one who walks into my office. The whole office lit up. ‘Hello, you are welcome…how are you…please sit, Ma’am?’ I said heartily. In all of this the young lady appeared struck and had not said a word.

She slips into the seat across my table and then I say again. ‘You are very welcome. My name is Louisa… I shall be interacting with you on your suitability for the position of a Business Analyst…What’s your name?’

‘Bimbo… Bimbo Williams.’ At this point she had begun wavering, as though she was unsure of her name. Then I say: ‘Introduce yourself to me. I’m interested in tertiary and what you’ve been up to since…’

She smiled grimly and started ‘errmm, errmm, o-okay-y, I actually went to Legon. I read BSc Admin, Accounting option….errmm, errmm, I…I need a job, because I finished my national service 2 years ago, and I…I’m…just at home.’

I ask inquisitively. ‘What is Legon? What happens there? Then she giggled and goes, ‘Madam, please Legon is the university I went to… ahaaa…’

Then I ask again, Ma’am, explain to me the relevance of 3 accounting concepts when you are assessing the truth & fairness of the financials of a client who needs a loan from you’

At this question, Bimbo got very fidgety and begun fumbling badly. This was about the third question I had asked and had not gotten any intelligent response. This is her answer:. ‘Errmm Madam, hmm, I’ll try. Errmm Madam, I guess you have to be God fearing, honest…’ my jaw dropped.

Sadly Bimbo’s session lasted for only 11minutes. 11 minutes exactly.  This was because she looked good only on CV. She was shamefully lacking in a significant chunk of smart staff attribute. I wondered how she managed to obtain her degree. Her responses were shallow, inconsistent, incoherent and immature. She could not do tables in Ms word; totally lost her way in excel and could not make out the icon for PowerPoint.  

Bimbo, a proud university graduate… here she is uncut:

·         Could not express self, tenses were poor.

·         Fumbled continuously.

·         Lacked the basic knowledge in the job role she had applied for.

·         Lacked wit & situational judgment

·         Lacked confidence (because she did not know much)

·         Lacked computer proficiency.

For Bimbo, once she had completed the university, she definitely must find a job, and it had to be in a financial institution.

I have seen quite a few Bimbos in my working life; not all female though.  They are just not that useful in the corporate world.

In the financial institutions, it is very serious business and therefore one has got to be on top of their game.

Though training is provided, at entry point one must know their ABCs and 123s.

Reality

Most students, (MBAs inclusive) have only acquired the certificate. They know absolutely nothing. They are unable to pass interviews and therefore cannot find jobs.

There are 1000s of employers looking for skill and expertise to hire, but truth is, these qualities are hard to find during interviews.

Challenge

Candidates are simply unable to cross the interview border and therefore do not secure the white-collar jobs they so desire; hence the lamentations of unemployment all over the place.

Admonishing

Folks, do not be in a hurry to finish school and be called a graduate and other professional titles.

Do not hurry to seek exemptions to shorten your instructional hours in the university. Do not absent yourself from lectures and think you will get question leaks or favours with lecturers to mark you up.

You need the discipline. You need the knowledge. If you dash through school, you will be even more frustrated in the end, because you will think you have a certain qualification, but truly, you do not have the requisite knowledge in that job role to perform.

With your half-baked knowledge, you may either not find a job at all; OR even if you do, you may soon lose it because your shallow knowledge cannot sustain you in any serious, successful, world class corporate institution.

Bimbo, your name means beautiful but unintelligent; and indeed you are. I’m sorry though, that beauty may soon fade away.

Way to Go

Intelligence, wit, knowledge are what will sustain and propel you in any job environment.

Bimbo, it is not sustainable to use your beauty to hunt people to give you hand outs and dole money on you.

Hard work, intelligence and knowledge will build your confidence and confidence will take you places.

I deferred your interview so you can go back to school and retrain.

When you are done, we shall have another interview and hopefully you will get the job you so desire.

Till then, have a fruitful back-to-school programme.

My Braids Cost As Much as My Job!

 

Work schedule is really tight in most contemporary businesses. For this reason working people, especially ladies, would want to have their full weekends to take care of their social, domestic and personal functions.

I always say, ‘the weekend is never enough for me…’

These are what I’m likely to do on any weekend:

·         Get extra sleep; cook; clean; visit with family; spa; TV; bond with the kids; run errands for the home…

I suppose yours isn’t that different. Okay. Remember though, that you cannot eat your cake and still keep it!

This is sometimes the cause of unscheduled leave and absenteeism in the workplace. Personal things must be taken care of but the weekend alone doesn’t suffice. People find a way, anyway. Regrettably, ways they often find rather make their journey longer, more difficult, dangerous, complex, and miserable in the end.

A sad incident happened during this week to a young lady I know in the neighbouhood. She works with a real estate company in town. Here is Emily’s story.

At 27, Emily Simpson is a Theatre Arts graduate from the University of Ghana. She is single, beautiful but lacks wits. Disappointingly! I watch her often and listen to her carefully each time she expresses her thoughts on issues and for me, she appears to have dashed through school, somehow passed exams and gotten herself a job as a Business Executive. Emily’s vain self makes her excessively conscious of her looks with every tick of the clock, regardless of where she is or what she may be doing. Ms Simpson will do anything at the expense of anything to look good.  For Simpson, her flattery and over-embellished appearance takes precedence over everything else. She just is not clever!

You Will Understand Why

Simpson’s always boasted of her familiarity with her CEO of which she took advantage. Simpson being inexperienced, coupled with a not-too-firm supervisor decided to get a hairdo while she was supposed to be working on clients’ applications and appointments. She feigned sickness, took the day off without permission; does not have courtesy to call until her Boss called; shows up the next day spotting incredibly tiny strands of braided hair. (she didn’t have this hairdo the day prior). Same person who claimed she had taken ill the previous day.

Supervisor’s Reaction. Simple.

Supervisor hands Simpson a query in which the former, among other things, demands to sight evidence of so-called hospital attendance (ie Doctor’s consultation sheet/excuse duty).

As unintelligent as Simpson is, upon receiving the query, in being defensive, flares up, throws tantrums, swears, gets insolent and tells her boss in her face, ‘I am not going to respond to your query.’ ‘Why do you need to see evidence of my hospital attendance…’

Supervisor reports the matter to the Directors of the company, Simpson is summoned for fair hearing; she fumbles; contradicts herself; and guess what? She is fired!

Question: Could she not have waited to fix that hair over the weekend? Even if she desperately needed to do this for a weekend function could she not have properly sought for prior approval?

Was it necessary for Simpson to have taken on that reckless posture at the time she got the query?

When her Supervisor (who happens to be a Church member) called to narrate this drama, I said, 'Ma’am, this is pathetic but she deserves what she’s got.'

Admonishing

There are numerous young graduates who have completed university but cannot find jobs. They search and search but it is difficult. Some of the very few who really do find jobs really do not deserve to be in corporate employment. This is the hard fact!

In every endeavour one has got to be disciplined. Discipline is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. If we cheat our way through, our ‘successes’ will not last. Cheating by absenteeism, lateness, idleness, dishonesty and insubordination.

In the work place one must be alive to one thing. That the job at stake must be done. Non-negotiable.

Emily, I do hope you find a new job. When you do, remember, that our jobs form the basis of our livelihood and therefore we CANNOT afford to joke when we have one. We cannot cheat and expect that we will be paid for that.

Employers’ Commitment

Knowing that the issue of absenteeism and unscheduled leave is financially draining on any company, employers should invest in packaging some practical staff welfare programmes which will sustain the health, well being and enthusiasm for staff to show up at work. Arrange for more flexible time-off options.  The cost- benefit analysis of this investment will show that benefits from staff welfare packages will significantly reduce absenteeism which is often caused by:

1.      Illness/Hospital attendance

2.      Stress related conditions

3.      Workload

4.      Inequity

5.      Unrealistic reporting timelines

6.      Poor Supervision

7.      Interviews for other promising jobs

‘My Head Is Not A Warehouse’ - Boss

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. I’m going to be sharing just one of them.

By the way, a very special happy new year to you! It is my prayer that by the time we are done with 2012, you will find it worthy to say: ‘it has been one beautiful year!’

Ok. Now back to business.

There is a tittle-tattling boss in the office. Sadly he is the big boss. He will discuss anything from personal to business to staff fabrications with subordinates. He will pass round to other colleagues private text conversations that had transpired between himself and other staff.  Then he will say, ‘my head is not a warehouse and so anything I see or hear I just have to tell somebody…’

Pathetic! This behaviour of this boss has encouraged a lot of rumouring and vain talk in his company to the extent that there is a lot of disaffection among his staff…same way his head is not a warehouse, other staff’s heads are not warehouses either.

He goes over to one staff and says; ‘Akos, what do you think about Akua…” the feeling Akos gets is this- oo the boss likes me to the point that he is seeking my opinion on another staff. Akos gets excited and opens her mouth very very wide…

The next time this boss goes to another person, Adwoa, and asks ‘what do you think of Akos?’ and this goes on and on and on and on.

Workplace rumouring is what we talking about!

In corporate life there is usually a lot of chit-chatting which start quite harmless but could end up wreaking a lot of avoidable trouble and mess.

Rumour grounds – why would a boss or any other Staff discuss the other person?

·         When there is a difficult conversation to be held but because of its sticky nature people avoid tackling the issues head-on.

·         When the work environment is unsafe for colleagues to freely question things that are happening or sincerely pass negative comments.

·         When the boss is the one championing the gossip due to their naturally unscrupulous and immature behaviour.

·         When there is blatant lack of discipline.

Toxic Effects

·         Non-performance – colleagues spend paid, productive time rumouring and counter-acting stories about them and others to the point that nothing gets done and the day ends, sadly.

·         Resentment – when colleagues find out or have suspicion that rumours (true/false) are being spread about them, it generates a feeling of disaffection among them to the extent that the corporate environment is poisoned, eroding morale and camaraderie and nothing good is ever achieved.

·         The originator and even the participant(s) in any gossip lose respect and trust in the work place because sooner than later they are discovered and naturally everybody avoids them.

·         Obstruction to collaboration and effective communication - victims get disenchanted and feel relactant to co-operate in teams.

Therapy  

As tempting as it is to gossip, RESIST it! It doesn’t serve you or them.

Formulate workplace policy on idle talk and defamatory commentary – this should have the commitment of management and especially the CEO. Transgressors must be promptly punished. Policy must be enforced consistently and fairly across the entire workplace.

Colleagues will have to agree that they have the responsibility of reminding each other NOT to partake in gossip for the following reasons:

·         Untrue and/or unhealthy stories

·         Slanderous

·         Unnecessary

Staff personal discipline and integrity – co-workers have got to remain disciplined and to espouse the ideals of integrity at all times, not to listen to gossip making the rounds in the work place. This will go a long way to distinguish colleagues as professional, focused, decent and trustworthy. These are personal values that can never be compromised if one has to make a mark, climb to the top, and remain there.

Finally, be responsible and responsive! Do not repeat stories or embellish them when you cannot vouch their veracity and/or establish the need for others to hear them.

Perhaps at this point, I may just have to borrow the Prof’s expression: ‘dzi wo fie asem!’

Now boss, don't you dare say 'my head is not a warehouse.' IT IS NOT A VIRTUE.