My Name Is Bimbo

‘Ms Bimbo, I notice you giggle and fidget each time during the near-fifteen minutes we have been engaging, struggling to give suitable responses (if at all) to questions asked you…I’m not sure we should keep at this pace. Interview deferred.’

These were my words at the point I had to terminate this particular interview to save my time and also move on with other candidates who direly needed an interview opportunity.

I often sit on interview panels trying to assess the suitability of prospective hires in various capacities. Regrettably I find this function extremely draining, dismal and often annoying. You will appreciate why.

I come across several young graduates who are desperately looking for employment in the corporate environment. These dreams, get curtailed somewhat because candidates are just not impressive. I have reviewed over a 1000 CVs which look quite remarkable, however it has often turned out, the ink and paper are all there are to the authors of those testimonials.

Bimbo earns an interview opportunity. 9.00am was her appointment on Friday March 30, 2012. She shows up rather enthusiastically and on time. Here she is:

She magnificently emerges from a self-chauffeured sleek, charcoal-grey 2012 registered Range Rover Evoque. I happened to be at the staff car park and wondered to myself who this lady could be. I immediately assumed she was a client, but never imagined her as a job-seeker.

Tall, stylish, slender and elegant. Strikingly gorgeous, dark-skinned 16-inch fake-haired woman, occasionally appearing shy, beautifully dressed up in seemingly expensive clothes, shoes and accessories. Her fragrance filled the foyer getting staff nosing surreptitiously to find out who was here and what they were up to.

I get into my office, a telephone call follows: Front office person: ‘madam, the interview candidates are in; can the first person come?’ “Sure…” I related.

The same lady I had seen at the car park is the one who walks into my office. The whole office lit up. ‘Hello, you are welcome…how are you…please sit, Ma’am?’ I said heartily. In all of this the young lady appeared struck and had not said a word.

She slips into the seat across my table and then I say again. ‘You are very welcome. My name is Louisa… I shall be interacting with you on your suitability for the position of a Business Analyst…What’s your name?’

‘Bimbo… Bimbo Williams.’ At this point she had begun wavering, as though she was unsure of her name. Then I say: ‘Introduce yourself to me. I’m interested in tertiary and what you’ve been up to since…’

She smiled grimly and started ‘errmm, errmm, o-okay-y, I actually went to Legon. I read BSc Admin, Accounting option….errmm, errmm, I…I need a job, because I finished my national service 2 years ago, and I…I’m…just at home.’

I ask inquisitively. ‘What is Legon? What happens there? Then she giggled and goes, ‘Madam, please Legon is the university I went to… ahaaa…’

Then I ask again, Ma’am, explain to me the relevance of 3 accounting concepts when you are assessing the truth & fairness of the financials of a client who needs a loan from you’

At this question, Bimbo got very fidgety and begun fumbling badly. This was about the third question I had asked and had not gotten any intelligent response. This is her answer:. ‘Errmm Madam, hmm, I’ll try. Errmm Madam, I guess you have to be God fearing, honest…’ my jaw dropped.

Sadly Bimbo’s session lasted for only 11minutes. 11 minutes exactly.  This was because she looked good only on CV. She was shamefully lacking in a significant chunk of smart staff attribute. I wondered how she managed to obtain her degree. Her responses were shallow, inconsistent, incoherent and immature. She could not do tables in Ms word; totally lost her way in excel and could not make out the icon for PowerPoint.  

Bimbo, a proud university graduate… here she is uncut:

·         Could not express self, tenses were poor.

·         Fumbled continuously.

·         Lacked the basic knowledge in the job role she had applied for.

·         Lacked wit & situational judgment

·         Lacked confidence (because she did not know much)

·         Lacked computer proficiency.

For Bimbo, once she had completed the university, she definitely must find a job, and it had to be in a financial institution.

I have seen quite a few Bimbos in my working life; not all female though.  They are just not that useful in the corporate world.

In the financial institutions, it is very serious business and therefore one has got to be on top of their game.

Though training is provided, at entry point one must know their ABCs and 123s.

Reality

Most students, (MBAs inclusive) have only acquired the certificate. They know absolutely nothing. They are unable to pass interviews and therefore cannot find jobs.

There are 1000s of employers looking for skill and expertise to hire, but truth is, these qualities are hard to find during interviews.

Challenge

Candidates are simply unable to cross the interview border and therefore do not secure the white-collar jobs they so desire; hence the lamentations of unemployment all over the place.

Admonishing

Folks, do not be in a hurry to finish school and be called a graduate and other professional titles.

Do not hurry to seek exemptions to shorten your instructional hours in the university. Do not absent yourself from lectures and think you will get question leaks or favours with lecturers to mark you up.

You need the discipline. You need the knowledge. If you dash through school, you will be even more frustrated in the end, because you will think you have a certain qualification, but truly, you do not have the requisite knowledge in that job role to perform.

With your half-baked knowledge, you may either not find a job at all; OR even if you do, you may soon lose it because your shallow knowledge cannot sustain you in any serious, successful, world class corporate institution.

Bimbo, your name means beautiful but unintelligent; and indeed you are. I’m sorry though, that beauty may soon fade away.

Way to Go

Intelligence, wit, knowledge are what will sustain and propel you in any job environment.

Bimbo, it is not sustainable to use your beauty to hunt people to give you hand outs and dole money on you.

Hard work, intelligence and knowledge will build your confidence and confidence will take you places.

I deferred your interview so you can go back to school and retrain.

When you are done, we shall have another interview and hopefully you will get the job you so desire.

Till then, have a fruitful back-to-school programme.

My Braids Cost As Much as My Job!

 

Work schedule is really tight in most contemporary businesses. For this reason working people, especially ladies, would want to have their full weekends to take care of their social, domestic and personal functions.

I always say, ‘the weekend is never enough for me…’

These are what I’m likely to do on any weekend:

·         Get extra sleep; cook; clean; visit with family; spa; TV; bond with the kids; run errands for the home…

I suppose yours isn’t that different. Okay. Remember though, that you cannot eat your cake and still keep it!

This is sometimes the cause of unscheduled leave and absenteeism in the workplace. Personal things must be taken care of but the weekend alone doesn’t suffice. People find a way, anyway. Regrettably, ways they often find rather make their journey longer, more difficult, dangerous, complex, and miserable in the end.

A sad incident happened during this week to a young lady I know in the neighbouhood. She works with a real estate company in town. Here is Emily’s story.

At 27, Emily Simpson is a Theatre Arts graduate from the University of Ghana. She is single, beautiful but lacks wits. Disappointingly! I watch her often and listen to her carefully each time she expresses her thoughts on issues and for me, she appears to have dashed through school, somehow passed exams and gotten herself a job as a Business Executive. Emily’s vain self makes her excessively conscious of her looks with every tick of the clock, regardless of where she is or what she may be doing. Ms Simpson will do anything at the expense of anything to look good.  For Simpson, her flattery and over-embellished appearance takes precedence over everything else. She just is not clever!

You Will Understand Why

Simpson’s always boasted of her familiarity with her CEO of which she took advantage. Simpson being inexperienced, coupled with a not-too-firm supervisor decided to get a hairdo while she was supposed to be working on clients’ applications and appointments. She feigned sickness, took the day off without permission; does not have courtesy to call until her Boss called; shows up the next day spotting incredibly tiny strands of braided hair. (she didn’t have this hairdo the day prior). Same person who claimed she had taken ill the previous day.

Supervisor’s Reaction. Simple.

Supervisor hands Simpson a query in which the former, among other things, demands to sight evidence of so-called hospital attendance (ie Doctor’s consultation sheet/excuse duty).

As unintelligent as Simpson is, upon receiving the query, in being defensive, flares up, throws tantrums, swears, gets insolent and tells her boss in her face, ‘I am not going to respond to your query.’ ‘Why do you need to see evidence of my hospital attendance…’

Supervisor reports the matter to the Directors of the company, Simpson is summoned for fair hearing; she fumbles; contradicts herself; and guess what? She is fired!

Question: Could she not have waited to fix that hair over the weekend? Even if she desperately needed to do this for a weekend function could she not have properly sought for prior approval?

Was it necessary for Simpson to have taken on that reckless posture at the time she got the query?

When her Supervisor (who happens to be a Church member) called to narrate this drama, I said, 'Ma’am, this is pathetic but she deserves what she’s got.'

Admonishing

There are numerous young graduates who have completed university but cannot find jobs. They search and search but it is difficult. Some of the very few who really do find jobs really do not deserve to be in corporate employment. This is the hard fact!

In every endeavour one has got to be disciplined. Discipline is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. If we cheat our way through, our ‘successes’ will not last. Cheating by absenteeism, lateness, idleness, dishonesty and insubordination.

In the work place one must be alive to one thing. That the job at stake must be done. Non-negotiable.

Emily, I do hope you find a new job. When you do, remember, that our jobs form the basis of our livelihood and therefore we CANNOT afford to joke when we have one. We cannot cheat and expect that we will be paid for that.

Employers’ Commitment

Knowing that the issue of absenteeism and unscheduled leave is financially draining on any company, employers should invest in packaging some practical staff welfare programmes which will sustain the health, well being and enthusiasm for staff to show up at work. Arrange for more flexible time-off options.  The cost- benefit analysis of this investment will show that benefits from staff welfare packages will significantly reduce absenteeism which is often caused by:

1.      Illness/Hospital attendance

2.      Stress related conditions

3.      Workload

4.      Inequity

5.      Unrealistic reporting timelines

6.      Poor Supervision

7.      Interviews for other promising jobs

‘My Head Is Not A Warehouse’ - Boss

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. I’m going to be sharing just one of them.

By the way, a very special happy new year to you! It is my prayer that by the time we are done with 2012, you will find it worthy to say: ‘it has been one beautiful year!’

Ok. Now back to business.

There is a tittle-tattling boss in the office. Sadly he is the big boss. He will discuss anything from personal to business to staff fabrications with subordinates. He will pass round to other colleagues private text conversations that had transpired between himself and other staff.  Then he will say, ‘my head is not a warehouse and so anything I see or hear I just have to tell somebody…’

Pathetic! This behaviour of this boss has encouraged a lot of rumouring and vain talk in his company to the extent that there is a lot of disaffection among his staff…same way his head is not a warehouse, other staff’s heads are not warehouses either.

He goes over to one staff and says; ‘Akos, what do you think about Akua…” the feeling Akos gets is this- oo the boss likes me to the point that he is seeking my opinion on another staff. Akos gets excited and opens her mouth very very wide…

The next time this boss goes to another person, Adwoa, and asks ‘what do you think of Akos?’ and this goes on and on and on and on.

Workplace rumouring is what we talking about!

In corporate life there is usually a lot of chit-chatting which start quite harmless but could end up wreaking a lot of avoidable trouble and mess.

Rumour grounds – why would a boss or any other Staff discuss the other person?

·         When there is a difficult conversation to be held but because of its sticky nature people avoid tackling the issues head-on.

·         When the work environment is unsafe for colleagues to freely question things that are happening or sincerely pass negative comments.

·         When the boss is the one championing the gossip due to their naturally unscrupulous and immature behaviour.

·         When there is blatant lack of discipline.

Toxic Effects

·         Non-performance – colleagues spend paid, productive time rumouring and counter-acting stories about them and others to the point that nothing gets done and the day ends, sadly.

·         Resentment – when colleagues find out or have suspicion that rumours (true/false) are being spread about them, it generates a feeling of disaffection among them to the extent that the corporate environment is poisoned, eroding morale and camaraderie and nothing good is ever achieved.

·         The originator and even the participant(s) in any gossip lose respect and trust in the work place because sooner than later they are discovered and naturally everybody avoids them.

·         Obstruction to collaboration and effective communication - victims get disenchanted and feel relactant to co-operate in teams.

Therapy  

As tempting as it is to gossip, RESIST it! It doesn’t serve you or them.

Formulate workplace policy on idle talk and defamatory commentary – this should have the commitment of management and especially the CEO. Transgressors must be promptly punished. Policy must be enforced consistently and fairly across the entire workplace.

Colleagues will have to agree that they have the responsibility of reminding each other NOT to partake in gossip for the following reasons:

·         Untrue and/or unhealthy stories

·         Slanderous

·         Unnecessary

Staff personal discipline and integrity – co-workers have got to remain disciplined and to espouse the ideals of integrity at all times, not to listen to gossip making the rounds in the work place. This will go a long way to distinguish colleagues as professional, focused, decent and trustworthy. These are personal values that can never be compromised if one has to make a mark, climb to the top, and remain there.

Finally, be responsible and responsive! Do not repeat stories or embellish them when you cannot vouch their veracity and/or establish the need for others to hear them.

Perhaps at this point, I may just have to borrow the Prof’s expression: ‘dzi wo fie asem!’

Now boss, don't you dare say 'my head is not a warehouse.' IT IS NOT A VIRTUE.

Sir, This is Apple-Polishing!

In an institution I once worked, there was an end-of-year staff soiree, where the Board Chair made the following announcement: ‘Don, you are the CEO of this subsidiary. Team, I’d entreat you all to give your new CEO the maximum support he needs. I’m still gonna have very high expectations of him and I assure it’s not gonna be easy…’

Don had been in acting capacity for a while and he seemed to have caught the Board’s attention.

With a wide almost ear-to-ear grin in his face, Don, awestruck, struggles to string a few words in a remark… ‘Errmm, I think I want to thank the Board for reposing such depth of confidence in me.’ ‘Thank you!’

There appeared to be cheers across the table, colleagues making faces, some silly ones, some obviously not too amused about the announcement.

In turn, colleagues began expressing words of solidarity in support of the new CEO. At my turn I said: ‘Don, congratulations!’

One manager, Patrick, rose and begun: ‘… oh, this is the doing of the Lord…praise be to Jehovah God Almighty…Don is a very good leader…I’m not surprised at all that the Board is saying he should be the CEO…As for me I will support him, I will make sure I do my work well so that Don doesn’t get into trouble.'

At this point I was getting a bit impatient, mixed feelings, worried, not too sure Patrick was properly screwed up in his mind. A few other colleagues felt same too. Don was however just watching and nodding away, then appeared to be basking in those unnecessary sycophantic praises.

Mulling over, I whispered to myself. ‘Don, can you not just discern that Patrick is so apple polishing you? Have you become naïve all of a sudden? Ouch! Sadly people cannot tell the difference when sycophants are on the floor.

Outside, after the drink-up, I got curious and asked: ‘Patrick, how long have you known Don, be it on the job or elsewhere… I see you have a lot of goodwill with him…’ Patrick chuckles, gets a bit fidgety and relates…Oh Louie, errmm I’ve not known Don for long -  less than a year, but in this organization if you must secure your job, you have got be nice to the big guys. And you have really got to do this openly so that the big guys will feel good. And Louie, you don’t have to assert yourself. Just tag along any decisions that are taken and you can be sure your job is protected for the long haul…’

I go like Patrick, are you serious? You have got to be kidding me big time! Musing…what does Patrick mean by job security? Whatever happened to performance, competence, delivery? Whatever happened to professionalism and self-assertiveness…Ok, ok! Survival in this environment depends on praise-singing and politics. No workplace policies?

Behaviour at every work place is quite infused with politics and this cannot be discounted. Work place politicking in itself is not an exactly bad idea.

Political behaviour is using the power at one’s disposal to get the desired outcome. For political behaviour to be effective, one has got to have some kind of power. Without this power, it is almost impossible to get the other person to do or give what is desired.

As a result there is positive and negative political behaviour.

Positive Politicking

Positive, because the organization may be the ultimate gainer of the outcome of political behaviour which results in a win-win situation.

Scenario – Bertha sends a directive by email to a colleague to get some tasks executed immediately. A week goes by and there is neither an acknowledgement of the mail, nor the performance of the task. No feedback. Bertha follows up with a telephone call to the colleague and there is a story. Bertha then, politically, sends a reminder to her colleague and this time, puts the General Manager (who has that reputation of terminating appointments of Staff who do not perform) in copy of the resent mail. The job gets done immediately and perfectly. The gainer is definitely the organization as well as Bertha whose directive has been effected. This is win-win.

Positive Political Behaviour Strategies

·         Forming coalitions of strong allies who can really connect to get results.

·         Building a network in and out of the organization to tap ideas from.

·         Pretending all colleagues are favourites, just so the work get done.

Negative Politicking

The beneficiary of the outcome of political behaviour is most likely NOT be the organization but an individual or group of persons who may have used their official status, resources and clout to reap undue benefit.

Scenario – in Gwen’s capacity as the final approving authority for procurement of capital items, she decides to put aside the quotations solicited and covertly obtains other quotations of bizarre values from unapproved sources (cronies) subsequently resulting in loss of value for money for the organization. Clearly in this scenario, the organization has lost and the staff gained.

Negative Political Tactics

·         Scape-goating – avoiding or minimizing outcomes of professional incompetence.

·         Information withholding or distortion in order to outperform work colleagues.

·         Taking undue credit for other colleagues’ accomplishments.

·         Making the superior feel good (ie apple polishing) in order to cover up for their inefficiencies.

·         Creating social debts or simply (threats of) blackmail - feeling you owe a favour.

All manner of employees, out of competition and the desire to out-perform colleagues regrettably engage in negative political behaviour which ultimately breeds disaffection and unhealthy rivalry among staff. This development can poison the work environment, nothing will get done and endless (paid) staff time would be used for conflicts resolution.

                                                                                                                                               

Industrial Relations Tipper Louisa: There’s a Hyena in My Office!

Industrial Relations Tipper Louisa: There’s a Hyena in My Office!: Have you ever been a target of aggressive behaviour in the office? In every endeavour and especially the work place, there is at least one p...

There’s a Hyena in My Office!

Have you ever been a target of aggressive behaviour in the office?

In every endeavour and especially the work place, there is at least one person who is often perceived as a threat to the career progression of their colleagues or the institution in general. This person may often be very intelligent, principled, organized, assertive, Union member, seeks to show a lot of career promise, affable, sometimes has strong personality presence, or worse yet, one who has victimization complex or low self esteem. This is usually NOT the boss!

These striking attributes suddenly irritate colleagues/bosses and they either get into unnecessary competition by desperately seeking to even out somewhat, initially dropping subtle hints of their discomfort with the target of victimization.

In the beginning the ‘prey’ may be quite unaware of these recurrent reprehensible behaviours like disrespect, unnecessary arguments, petty gossips and very soon becomes apparent and then gets worrying.

I worked in a non-Ghanaian insurance company where as a principle, I determined to practise my profession ethically and would NOT report or trade false figures. Incidentally my personal values sharply contrasted that of this firm’s and I suddenly became a threat who had to be dealt with.

This is the point where the hyena shows up.  A hyena is a carnivore. The hyena in my superiors will pick on me needlessly in every aggressive and offensive manner.  Here is what the CEO will do:

He makes an announcement in an antagonistic fashion as follows:

·         ‘It is an offense not to be part of the compulsory morning devotion which starts @ 7.15am. If you are not here by 7.05am you better not use the front door…’ (What happened to the labour law? Discrimination on religious grounds… what if I am not a Christian? - musing…

The CEO appeared to have connived with his colleague nationals in the firm, to bully other people, especially the assertive ones while he feebly looked on.

Other forms of Victimization

Relevant official information and documentation will be withheld so ‘preys’ are unable to execute their tasks.

Resources are unevenly and inequitably distributed in the workplace so that the ‘prey’ is sure not to get what is due them to be able to work efficiently.

There is obvious disregard for hierarchy and wanton display of power, to the point where the ‘prey’ gets frustrated and leaves the organization.

The CEO knows there is absolutely no basis to terminate the ‘prey’s’ appointment and so they bring out the hyena to terrorize and frustrate.

People, Victimization in the work place is illegal. The LABOUR ACT of Ghana, 2003, clearly and specifically abhors Victimization; and here is what it says in Part XVII Section 127:

Discrimination

127.  (1) A person who discriminates against any person with respect to the employment or conditions of employment--------- is guilty of unfair labour practice.

         (2)  A person who seeks by intimidation, dismissal, threat of dismissal, or by any kind of threat or by imposition of a penalty, or giving or offering to give a wage increase or any other favourable alteration of terms of employment, or by any other means, seeks to induce a worker to refrain from becoming or continuing to be a member or officer of a trade union is guilty of unfair labour practice.

Under no circumstance should you continue to be anguished on the job for no just cause.

Here is what you can do:

• Ensure foremost, that you are in no way engaged in any work place malfeasance - like ineptitude, disrespect, stealing, gossip and so forth. This way your hands stay clean to pursue your case and seek equitable redress.
• Petition the LABOUR COMMISSION to call your case for fair hearing.
• Keep documentation and a log of your official communication about the victimization practices and your possible attempt of grievance resolution at the workplace.
• Refrain from issuing empty threats like: ‘I will sue this company’; I will leave; I will report and so on.
• Stay focused on your job, difficult as it may be, under the circumstances.
• Stay calm and do not talk too much to implicate yourself.
• Be conscious of your environment, work station, working tools, who you send, what you eat and drink.
• Finally, for your own sanity, resign honourably.

Fascinatingly victimization often comes your way, when you are doing something right and colleagues are averse to your style and striking attributes. The hyena in them will want to diminish you so they can emerge.

Be careful. Do not play along. Strategize like the serpent. Be wise, but remain humble like the sheep.

Industrial Relations Tipper Louisa: I Can Do That Job!

Industrial Relations Tipper Louisa: I Can Do That Job!: I watched with awe how Journalists around the world had been getting their jobs done and I say to myself, 'I CAN DO THAT JOB!' I'd seen the ...